The Smoking Cuban
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Houston Rockets are Mavericks Biggest Rival

ByAsher Feltman|

Today the Dallas Mavericks had their #FanJam and the highlight… (besides a fellow writer snagging a sweaty Raymond Felton jersey)

…was the scrimmage between the teams of the team. After the game new Mav small forward Chandler Parsons tweeted out just a super regular tweet from a 6’10” guy with a ratchet.

Photo Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Like all of Parsons’ tweets since becoming a Dallas Maverick on July 13 after the Rockets did not match Dallas’ three year $46 million dollar offer sheet, the feedback has been one of three things:

  • Happy Mavs fans
  • Girls and certain various generous offers
  • Pissed off Rockets fans

The tweet above produced a reaction not different from this set of retorts beautifully listed above by you for me cause them.

I won’t detail the responses because NSFWork content and NSFLife stupidity, but it got pretty heated with the first responder turning out to be either a Rockets fan, a hater of Parsons, or a hater of gorgeous men.

Which is why I think Chandler Parsons is the reason that the Houston Rockets have jettisoned the San Antonio Spurs or if you will the Oklahoma City Thunder as the premier rival of our Dallas Mavericks.

Polarizing figures are all around us, and the Mavericks new addition is certainly one.

There are two things consistent about the way people feel about good looking men.

Women adore and want them, men hate and are jealous of them. ESPECIALLY when he’s not on your team.

Also, CP25 is not one to mince words and he’s in the same dating circles as Justin Bieber.

And he’s not not a model.

And he’s not not doing things like this.

We’re in the Modern Age. Rivalries are more and more dictated by off the court/field/other field activities and personalities as opposed to sports rivalries being based on, you know, winning and losing at certain moments of life and time.

The Houston Rockets are also very, very hateable.

Our Owner Mark Cuban (fact checked) and their General Manager Daryl Morey hate each other. Morey may not admit it and Cuban may tell you without being asked. They constantly go to battle over free agents, trades, team building philosophies, media focus and dinners with the commissioner.

This off-season brought out the best in this rivalry.

Chandler Parsons to Dallas.

Mavericks legend and fan favorite and legendary legend of a player Jason Terry is traded to Houston.

smh.

Photo Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

And an AIM conversation which i’m told is real and oh boy I hope it’s real. AIM of course for you tweens is AOL Instant Messenger, thought to die out with Tom from MySpace something I thought I was the only one still using, but turns out Mark Cuban does too, so hate on that haters. <—thanks to Taylor Swift for that original rhyme and/of reason.

And Daryl Morey had the nerve to offer Dirk a max contract, though so did the Lakers. But Lakers gonna Lake.

So aside from this heated front office feud and a really, really good looking basketball player, the things that do indeed go on on the basketball court play a big part in this budding rivalry gone super rivalry.

First let’s address the San Antonio Spurs.

They are the main rivals forever and always deep down because they are one of the few front offices to reign supreme over ours, turning 2nd round picks into actual used players (in this country) and being five-time champions in the Dirk Nowitzki era and giving us crazy moments like this one below.

The hate of the Spurs is limited to a point –at least in my (also limited) mental capacity–and that’s because, outside of Manu Ginobili‘s ridiculous flopping, they’re respectable in what they do.

The Oklahoma City Thunder aren’t. Russell Westbrook, please.

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The Houston Rockets aren’t, and it all went downhill for my respect of the Texas basketball team in red when they acquired James Harden from the afore–no not aforementioned Thunder. The just mentioned OKC Thunder. (Hopefully the editor doesn’t see this Note: I’ve been reading a ton of vintage Spider-Man comics and Stan Lee wrote in these friendly reminders and I’m like, Uncle Stan c’mon it was last issue if someone somehow forgot already they’re not interested or they’re stupid. And that was last sentence, so no I will not grant you the satisfaction of using ‘aforementioned.’ It could be of great use elsewhere. Anyway…)

The aforementioned James Harden is just as bad if not worse (he’s worse) with the flopping and the play-to-the-ref not the game style of play. I swear if NBA officials were like “holy **** man he’s traveling and nobody is really fouling him” he would be so exposed.

But the trade to acquire him from penny pinching Oklahoma City was a genius move that put the Rockets on the map and their superstar-oriented plan in motion, something that Mark Cuban tried to be about before deciding

Dallas wasn’t a superstar destination

it was something he had nothing to do with.

The next piece for Houston was the big baby not nicknamed “Big Baby” like “Big Baby” Glenn Davis. When the bright lights and championship expectations sent Dwight Howard crawling back into his own skin, he bolted for Houston to be a second option to Harden. Like his new “superstar” (ugh) teammate, Howard is a complainer, a flopper (granted he actually does get fouled unlike the other guy) and a constant wuss on and off the court. And he’s not funny. And he never gave Chandler Parsons a car, just loaned. Weirdo.

Also there’s the geographic factor, which is what fueled the Mavericks-Spurs rivalry, but the heat in the front office and the huge difference in tactical approach to building a team, and the teams they’ve indeed built, and Chandler Parsons, and the JET, and even Greg Smith and if you want to add Tracy McGrady obliterating Shawn Bradley I won’t discount it.

Either way and all the way, this is a new big rivalry, but i’m declaring it the rivalry.

The Dallas Mavericks open their preseason Tuesday, October 7th at the AAC. So do the Houston Rockets. See you there.

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