Ranking Dirk Nowitzki’s 15 Best Tweets

ORLANDO, FL - FEBRUARY 25: Steve Nash /

When it comes to the Dallas Mavericks, the first thought that should come to mind is undoubtedly Dirk Nowitzki. Dirk is an incredible basketball player, but one of his most notable traits is undoubtedly humor.

Dirk Nowitzki isn’t just funny, he can be downright hilarious at times. His low ego has allowed him to master the art of self-deprecating humor and his genuine kindness to all results in nobody taking his playful digs at them to heart.  

Unfortunately, due to his more laid-back and quiet lifestyle, many basketball fans across the country never got the opportunity to see the kind of personality the fans in Dallas were so frequently treated to. Then, in October of 2010, The German Moses joined twitter and their eyes were opened. Fast forward to 2017 and Nowitzki has consistently been one of the funniest NBA players on twitter for years.

And so, I am here to attempt the impossible; accurately rank Dirk’s 15 funniest tweets since he joined the website. I recognize that it won’t be easy, but someone has to step up and take on the hard-hitting stories, right? So without further ado, Dirk Nowitzki’s top 15 tweets ever:

15. Dirk takes a shot at former teammate Zaza Pachulia for his enormous head.

14. Don’t worry 41, age is but a number. Your fadeaways are forever.

13. Dirk hates his aching joints!

12. Baby giraffes are only 6 feet tall and can run faster than 35 MPH (per speedofanimals.com), so yeah I’d say this is a compliment Dirk. Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go, Zeke? Nope.

11. This is one of those tweets you have to read in Dirk’s voice to fully appreciate.

10. I’ve got $41 on Dirk myself but the real winners here would be the fans. We’d all buy a ticket to go see that “race”.

9. Tony Romo may be nearly psychic when it comes to predicting NFL play calls but Dirk really blindsided him with this one.

8. You better be careful Dirk or Cuban may make you take a pay cu… never mind.

7. Dirk would like everyone to know that he could complete this dunk if he had just gotten his stretches in.

6. “Morty *burb* I’m Potato Dirrrrrrk!”

5. Dirk Nowitzki is fashion-forward and he knows it.

4. The Mavericks may have gone all-in for Dwight Howard (dodged a bullet there) in the summer of 2012 but all that matters is that they got the real DH to sign.

3. Hey, I’d watch that talk show…

2. This Rougned Odor joke reeks of dorky Dirk humor (Yes that pun was horrible).


This completes my ranking of Dirk’s top 15 tweets ever. As it is clear to see, Dirk is a very funny guy who does not mind taking a look in the mirror from time-to-time and laughing at himself a little bit, a very admirable trait.

Let me know how I did in the comments. Which tweets did I rank too high? Which ones too low? These rankings may be subjective, but we can all take comfort in one objective truth: Dirk Nowitzki is a national treasure.