Better Call Foul; Ed Malloy Reffing Mavericks-Rockets

Tonight is Game Two.

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The Game One Winner already has secured the odds, well the Houston Rockets secured the odds by playing up to the number two seed. That’s why they get home court advantage.

One of the worst things about the NBA is its officiating. Tonight Ken Mauer and Ed Malloy lead a crew of four that, well, let’s say this: If you know an official’s name, he’s not a good official.

Houston has an MVP Candidate and no doubt the most talented player in the series, however he’s also got the big factor going for him that Dallas has never had…four more players on the court wearing black and white striped uniforms.

Ken Mauer (yes, he’s Minnesota Twins first baseman Joe Mauer’s cousin) is tolerable, aside from his slick hair that warrants a nickname such as “Smythe” or “Grease(d Up Deaf Guy) Lightning.”

Ed Malloy is in constant competition with fellow official Tony Brothers as the absolute worst, most arrogant turrible and mistake-prone referee in the National Basketball Association. It’s throw-****-at-other-**** bad.

And in the NBA Playoffs, it’s supposed to be better. The games are supposed to be decided by the players for a change (what a concept, I know) and the frequently assigned idiocy of whistle blowing results like double technicals, flagrant foul reviews and overturned calls are thought to be things of just quickly forgotten regular season material.

However, the Rockets have James Harden. He has put Manu Ginobili –the Innovator– in the dust as well as left behind some of the league’s worst offenders in the coming category: Blake Griffin, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul.

The category is, well, you have most certainly guessed it by now if you’ve made it this far in my annoyed, ticked off rambling.

Flopping.

It’s an epidemic, and nobody is as bad as James Harden. Nobody calls them worse than Malloy and Brothers. Honestly, if those guys were both on this crew it would be a five hour, 300 foul game ending after my Avengers: Age of Ultron countdown knocks down from 9 to 8.

It’s not all Harden’s fault. There are two other factions to blame.

The officials, which I’ve covered.

And the sniper that sits in the rafters constantly hitting the Rockets guard in the head with imaginary bullets.

Ultimately, the game will end with who makes shots. The Mavericks have no chance to win if they don’t. But the pairing of James Harden and Ed Malloy has me in a bad Game Two mood already.

TheSmokingCuban Game 2 Round Table.

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