October 25, 2012; San Diego, CA, USA; Los Angeles Lakers forward Pau Gasol (left), guard Steve Nash (second from left), forward Metta World Peace (crossed leg), and center Dwight Howard (12) watch from the bench during the fourth quarter against the Sacramento Kings at Valley View Casino Center. Mandatory Credit: Christopher Hanewinckel-US PRESSWIRE 

This summer, like most Maverick fans, I was pretty upset.  Mark Cuban blew up the Championship team and then whiffed on DWill and D12 wasn’t looking very likely.

I could have been quite happy with plan B and figured signing Steve Nash was a good possibility since he and Dirk are good friends but I was ignoring the history, so I was even more hurt when Nash not only didn’t come to Dallas, he went to the Lakers.   Then Dwight ended up going there as well and so, we lost Tyson Chandler and three other integral parts of the Championship squad for nothing,—at least nothing immediately.

The only thing to do was to cry in my beer and make fun of Lamar Odom and then make fun of the Lakers.  I couldn’t say they wouldn’t be one of the presumptive favorites to win it all but it’s fun to fantasize as well as antagonizing Laker fans, well-known for trolling Maverick articles and making snide comments.

But a funny thing happened on the way to this coming season opener:  the Lakers when 0-8 and didn’t win even with Dwight Howard joining to the lineup.    Could it be true after all that Steve Nash is too Canadian the rest of the team has too many problems?

Well, probably not, but that being said, there will be ways to beat the Lakers and now’s as good a time as any to review them.

It is likely that the Lakers WILL gel sooner rather than later.  Ramona Shelbourne of ESPN Los Angeles comments:

“Nash’s poise and Bryant’s savvy give the Lakers an advantage over what James’ Miami Heat tried to accomplish that first season they were together and make L.A. more like the 2007-08 Boston Celtics, who won a title in their first season together.

But there are individual weaknesses. Yes, they are mortal.

Steve Nash is a future Hall of Fame point guard and still playing at an elite level despite his age.  However, he is not invincible.  He was never a great defender to start with and as is often the case in sports, aging shows up first where you weren’t great to start with rather than eroding your strengths.  Nash has generally been a defensive liability and now that is more pronounced than before.

Kobe is another future Hall of Famer who will be in the conversation regarding the greatest ever when he retires.  He is, however, showing his age and injuries too.  He still may not play in the opener and regardless, won’t be 100%.  For down the road, let’s just say that this is a year when Kobe is almost surely going to start showing his age in a more profound way.

And was there really any need to freak out?  Dwight Howard appears to be back in form but realistically, how much has his presence really changed the Lakers?  Andrew Bynum was arguably the second best center in the league, so this really isn’t a huge upgrade; relatively speaking ,the big difference will be Nash and perhaps Dwight on the defensive end plus Antawn Jamison off the bench.  Jamison should be their most productive bench player since the pre-Mavericks Lamar Odom.

The reality is,  while the Lakers may still have arguably the best starting 5 in the NBA, no one but Dwight is relatively young and after Jamison, also not a youngster, the bench gets pretty thin.

Zack Harper of CBS Sports  concurs that the bench is a primary issue:

“What kind of production does the bench give?  This is the biggest question for the Lakers. Can their bench give them anything? Antawn Jamison is on board, Jordan Hillis on board, Jodie Meeks is the floor-stretcher, Steve Blake is still there, and people are hoping Devin Ebanks can improve and emerge. I’m not sure what they have to contribute, but you’d imagine 25-30 points is probably necessary to give the starters plenty of support.

Where do those 25-30 points come from?”

On a grander scale, Charles Barkley and Shaq are among those who don’t care for Mike brown’s system overall.

Questions about the bench, the system, age and more are not relegated to Laker critics and after an 0-8 preseason, they’re not likely to go away until things improve.

Beating the Lakers will be about pushing them hard, making them play defense and wearing them down.  While Howard and Kobe are elite defenders, Nash and Jamison are anything but and that must be exploited.   The Mavericks must also use their new youth and athleticism to press disrupt the flow of the Laker’s offense.  Since some are new to the team and even the returning players are using a system that is somewhat less familiar, the Mavericks must be pesky and not allow the Laker’s offense to flow smoothly or generate easy baskets.

Oddly enough, with the Chris Kaman on the bench, the X-Factor may turn out to be Eddy Curry.  Curry is a mountain at just under 300 lbs. and he is skilled offensively.  Dwight Howard is ferociously strong but Curry will present a greater challenge than he is used to dealing with.   In addition, Curry is not someone that can be just shoved out of the way.

This will also be a good opportunity to see what Bernard James is really made of.  He’s had a good preseason but he hasn’t had to face D12.   Based on his performance so far he is likely better suited to play him than Brandan Wright.

As mentioned, Chris Kaman is still out and will likely miss at least one additional game.  As of this writing Kobe Bryant was about 85% likely to play.   Brandan Wright, Roddy Beaubois and Jared Cunningham are still nursing injuries but will be available.

It should be an interesting game all the way around—two teams with a lot of new pieces trying to find their way while not running at full throttle.

Christopher Hanewinckel-US PRESSWIRE

Once again I have proven to be the visionary prognosticator.  

In early September I published this incisive commentary predicting the newly-minted Lakers downfall rather than their rise to Championship status.

Lo and behold, these Lakers have not won a single game in the preseason.  

As a public service, I am republishing my breakdown of why the Lakers may struggle rather than soar.

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The Lakers made a big splash in free agency by signing Steve Nash, and then, put the cake under the icing with a four-team trade that landed Dwight Howard.  On the surface, it seems as if they have a great deal of talent.

However, assuming this team is going to be successful is speculative and exhibits a complete lack of interest in reading between the lines.

So, I’ll read between them for you.

Steve Nash is Old and Canadian

Good day.

Steve Nash has had his moments.  I mean there was that MVP thing but hey, if Mark Cuban felt he needed to go there must have been a good reason, right?  Look at the way he didn’t allow himself to get stuck with a bunch of brand new shiny champions!  But I digress…

Cuban dissed Nash in his prime…what the heck do you think Nash is going to do when he’s pushing 40?  Heck, if I wanted to see a 40-year old former Phoenix Sun play in L.A. I’d go see the Clippers!   All that beer and back bacon is going to catch up with him any time now.

Canadians play hockey, not basketball.  I know Toronto has a basketball team but how many of them are actually Canadian?  That’s right NONE.  You know why?  Because they’re too smart to let any of those wacky Canucks on the team.  They know better.

So anyway, you never know when he’s going to be in a nursing home and he probably won’t even last until the playoffs.   Besides, he’s a hoser too, eh?  Take off!

Kobe Bryant Incurs the Wrath of God

Kobe Bryant is getting old too but more importantly he is due to be hit by lightning early in the 2012-2013 season.   He’s had his issues with the ladies; we all know that.  Then he says Team USA can beat the Dream Team.  Now he’s hanging out with some Thunder from Down Under.    Karma.  It’s really as simple as that.

Plus, Kobe’ played all summer and he won’t have time to rest up.   Old bones creak a lot more and take longer to get up to speed after a good game of bridge at the retirement home.

While he’s waiting to be zapped from on high, Kobe might put together some decent games but he’s definitely on the downside.

And of course, he’s still probably going to retire. He said so.  It could be any day now.

Pau Gasol Is Not Dirk Nowitzki

Pau Gasol may be good but he’s no Dirk Nowtizki.  That’s all I have to say about that.

Oh, he’s no Marc Gasol either.  That wouldn’t make him better but that’s beside the point.

Mainly he’s no Dirk Nowitzki.

Metta World Peace Has Gotten Soft

Metta World Peace is no Ron Artest.  Well OK, maybe he kinda is but when people change their names to idealistic slogans it is a clear indication that they are going soft.  Plus it’s bad karma—hey, just look at World B. Free.  How many NBA championships did HE win?

I rest may case.

And for any of you triva nerds who might want to challenge me on that point, make sure you have all your facts straight.

Andrew Bynum Is Gone

You don’t just let go of one of the best centers in the league without consequences.  What, the Lakers think that somehow they are going to land Dwight Howard?  Yeah, the Mavericks tried that with Tyson Chandler!  hahahaha!

Right….

The Dwightmare Is over Before It Began

Oh—they did get Dwight Howard.   I blinked.

Well it doesn’t matter.

He has herniated discs and that stinks.  Believe me, I have three of them.

It’s all irrelevant anyway because while I was writing this article, Dwight demanded Mike Brown be fired along with a trade.   If the Lakers fail to comply he will retire.

Where Is the World Is Phil Jackson?

Is it still over?
Are we still through?
Since my phone still aint ringing
I assume it still ain’t you…

< Gotta love Randy Travis. >

And as a reminder, when you read anything I put out let me tell you, it will only be the truth.  The naked truth.

The Rest of the Story

Can you name this man?

Good for you.

Can you name anyone else on the Laker bench?

Well neither can anybody else.

OK, so they signed Antawn Jamison.  Well Mark Cuban got rid of him too.   So there.  End of story.

The Lakers Cannot Win Without Lamar Odom

When was the last time the Lakers won a ring without Lamar Odom?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Lamar got dissed by the Lakers and he sure showed them when he lit it up for the Mavericks.   I mean, he was the best thing to happen to the Mavericks since the common cold.

Now he’s headed back to L.A. but he won’t be donning the purple and gold.  There has to be some serious joojoo that comes from playing for another team in the same arena as the one who dumped you.  I have no doubt he is going to be in there with a little doll which looks like Mitch Kupchak poking it with a pin.   And you can forget about the distractions of a reality show—that’s history and he is focused.

The Kardashians of course will be back in full force in L.A., peddling their mighty influence against the Lakers while supporting their crosstown rivals.   I’m sure everyone will be sporting the Kardashian’s new line of eyewear and those previously Laker faithful will not be able to control the urge to change their loyalties.

At the End of the Day

As Americans, most of us have a sense of fairplay.  Unfortunately some teams seem to defy the rules and manage to put out contenders year after year.  That’s why we hate them.

I’m not a Laker fan, nor do I play one on TV.  I am very disturbed that Steve Nash, one of my favorite players, is donning the purple and gold.  I am also disturbed that Lamar Odom didn’t return to the Lakers so I could boo them even louder.  Actually, I’m just disturbed.

It’s just a few short weeks the Laker’s have gone from a middle-of-the-pack playoff team to a legitimate contender to the presumptive favorite to win a title.  All the rest of us can do is sit around and try to think of ways to beat them.

Remember though, Dwight may be a free agent again in 2013—if he hasn’t retired.

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I’m serious—but if you want to get all technical, check back tomorrow for our Mavs-Lakers preview.